


Anthony

by Cockney_Sparra



Category: Take That
Genre: Amnesia, Anal Sex, Angst, Forced Prostitution, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 21:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cockney_Sparra/pseuds/Cockney_Sparra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Take That split Mark completly vanished, though his family and friends had tried, nothing had been heard of him for almost four years. And that might have been the end of it, if Jason hadn't seen a card in the phone box and followed his heart...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cenea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cenea/gifts).



> Long long ago in the land of Whumpers there was a prompt challenge, this was the result.  
> Originally posted on lj under AwkbyName.

Part One

Jason really did believe that he was the only person in London who still used phone boxes for their intended purposes, although the smell would suggest that this particular booth was getting used quite often for something.

As Jason dialed the number he had been given he idly scanned the various cards stuck on every available surface. Lap dancers, masseuses, exotic dancers and good old-fashioned prossies, they all had their cards, male and female, young and old.

The call had connected by now and Jason listened to the option list his eyes still searching the cards, he pulled a flimsy one off the wall, staring at the fuzzy picture of a pretty young man. The boy looked a little familiar though Jason couldn't quite place the face, the text on the card read

**‘Anthony very young looking 27 has no boundaries will never say no and mean it: call (0171) 426 3927’.**

 

The more Jason looked at the card the more certain he became that he knew this boy. So distracted was he that he'd missed all the options and the call had ended. Putting the phone back onto its cradle he frowned in concentration.

"I don't know anyone by the name of Anthony but I know that face. It’s different, thinner, those eyes... it looks like, but it can't be, it can't be Mark, not our little Markie!"

Jason thought back to the conversation he'd had two years after the breakup. He'd only heard from Mark once after they had arrived back in the UK, after that Jason had gone traveling, when back in Manchester he'd called Mark’s parents to get a contact number. His mother had answered but as soon as she had heard Jason’s voice she’d burst into tears, he’d heard the phone as it hit the floor, only a moment later the voice of Mark’s father spoke.

_"Hello? Who’s there?"_

_"Mr Owen it's Jason... Jason Orange. I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I just wanted to get in touch with Mark"_

_"Jason, no son it wasn't you. You haven't heard then? Mark disappeared more than 18 months ago, we hadn't heard from him in a couple of days so Mary went round to his flat, he was gone, most of his clothes were still there but... the fridge had been emptied and cleaned, isn't that just like my boy? He'd been so hopeful after the split; did you know he was writing his own songs? He was too nervous to show them to you lads, especially Gary, he was frightened they weren't good enough at first but after... he really thought he might get somewhere, but no one wanted to know. He tried not to let it get him down but I think he was drinking a bit too much. We've heard nothing, I know Howard is out of the country but I tried Gary, Nigel said he’d pass on the message but he never got back to us."_

_"Oh God! Mr Owen I'm so sorry, I've been away, not even been in touch with my own family yet, I just... I just wanted to hear Mark’s voice, missed it you know? What did the police say?"_

_"That he was a grown man; that he’d clearly gone of his own free will, we told them... tried to explain about the band... that someone might have taken him, they weren't interested. Look Jason I’m sorry I need to go, take care lad and... and if you hear... anything... even if it’s bad, let me know, please? It’s the not knowing... that’s the worst of it... not knowing."_

_"Of course I will, please give my best to the family, and... I’m so sorry!"_

_"Thank you lad, you take care. Good bye!"_

As Jason headed back to his new flat, he kept thinking about ‘Anthony’, the picture was pretty rubbish, but even so, the kid had looked desperate and not in the way one would want from a masochistic rent boy... Christ just thinking about the possibility that it might be Markie was turning his stomach.

Stopping, he turned on his heal and headed back the way he’d come, this wasn’t the sort of thing he wanted to do in public, but his own phone wouldn’t be connected for another four days, and he couldn’t bring himself to leave it that long.

Back at the phone box, he took out the card and looked at it again, the closer he inspected that face the more certain he became. Putting his phone card in the slot, he took a deep breath and tapped in the number.

For a moment the deep London accent that answered filled him with relief, it wasn’t that daft little voice, an Oldham accent you could grate cheese on, but then the words registered.

“Oi! I said did you want to make an appointment for Anthony?”

“Wha? Yes... yes I did!”

“When for?” Jason was a bit thrown; he hadn’t expected this to be like making a dental appointment.

“How about tomorrow? Is that okay?”

“Nah mate, not tomorrow, ‘ow ‘bout Thursday? Eh 9:30 do ya?”

“Umm... yeah that’s fine... how mu...?”

“£150 for two hours £400 for the whole night, and believe me he’s worth every penny!”

“Ummm...the night then...whe...?”

“27 Regis Road NW5, what’s yer name?”

“J...Justin, d’ya want a surname?”

“Nah Justin’s fine. Well Justin, we’ll look forward to seeing you!”

“You’ll be there too?” Jason was just starting to wonder if he’d finally lost his mind, if this was some sort of rip off, worse if it was Mark how would he be able to talk to him?

“Just to take you through a couple of simple rules... don’t worry, nothing that’ll spoil your fun, after that you’ll have him all to yourself. See ya!”

Jason stood with the phone in his hand for a few more seconds, and then hung up, he turned and pushed open the door, then remembering the two cards grabbed them and headed home. It was going to be a long three days!

By the time Thursday arrived Jason was as close to a being nervous wreck as he’d been in four years. He didn’t know whether he wanted this Anthony to be Mark or not, he desperately wanted he’s sweet friend back, but the idea that that same gentle young man was a...a... he couldn’t even bring himself to think the words.

As he made his way to Kentish Town he tried to think of ways of excusing himself when it turned out not to be Mark, the boy on the card was very pretty in a waif-like way, but it had been a long time since Jason indulged himself with another lad, not since... well it had been a while.

He found the address easily enough, even having ten minutes to spare. Hanging around he hoped he wasn’t in a neighbourhood watch area; he really didn’t need to get picked up by the police. At 9:34 he walked up to the door of no. 27 there were six buttons the third one said simply **‘Anthony’ he pressed it and waited.**

“Who’s there?” the same voice from the phone, Jason swallowed and answered

“It’s Justin!”

“Come on up first floor no 3!”

The door catch released with a click and a buzz, Jason pushed it open and headed up the stairs, at no.3 he paused, took a deep breath and knocked.

A large shaven headed man opened the door, though not as tall as Jason, he was more than twice as broad, the fleeting image of this man towering over his Mark, that big meaty hand touching him... Jason shook his head, and looked suitably nervous.

“First timer eh? Don’t you worry, kid’ll make you forget in no time, c’mon in.” As he stepped aside to let Jason enter “Y’ can call me Gary”

At that name Jason almost choked, Gary! Of all the things this guy could be called, why that?

“So Justin, sit yer self down, now there’s only really one rule, no permanent damage, you can hurt him all y’ want, tie him up, knock him around, make him bleed, but nothing that _won’t heal_ , understand?”

“What? Yeah...yeah right, of course...I wouldn’t...”

“Don’t worry mate, y’ don’t look the type, not that y’ can always tell... but... well Anthony has a way of asking for it, even the mildest of blokes can find ‘emselves wanting to beat the crap out of him, hell I’ve done it meself a few times!”

Jason couldn’t help the flash of anger, but it seemed not to faze Gary.

“Right then, the boy’s just getting himself ready for you, so why don’t you pour yerself a drink” he nodded to the cabinet covered in bottles, even a mini fridge stood there, the promise of a cold beer within “and ‘ave yerself a look at these, should get y’ in the mood, heh ‘e takes a good photo, but then he is pretty as a picture” placing an innocuous looking photo album on the coffee table in front of Jason “I’ll just go and chivvy him along, honestly when ‘e gets in front of a mirror...” shaking his head in what could be called an affectionate manner, he left Jason alone in the large lounge.

Not sure a drink was a good idea, he never the less poured himself a whiskey, adding a splash of water from the waiting jug.

Taking the drink he sat down, and as he took a sip he opened the album, he stared at the first page, the most prominent picture showed Anthony, his hair shorter than on the card, he was staring at the camera, wearing a long white shirt, he was biting his bottom lip, a look both innocent and provocative, a look he’d seen Mark pull off during countless photo shoots.

Turning each page the pictures became more obscene, at first they were solo shots, the boy naked touching himself or using toys or household objects, some of which were just too big for the purpose they were being put to. Then there were the ones where he was tied up, crying, bruised, fucked.

Jason wanted to stop, but he kept turning the pages, a shot of Mar...Anthony hands bound behind him, a large hand in his hair pulling his head back as a group of men came over him drew a shocked gasp from Jason, he dropped the album on the table and downed the rest of his drink, just as Gary came back into the room.

The man glanced at Jason’s flushed face and then down to his crotch, and smirked: until that moment Jason hadn’t even realised that he was hard.

“Right then, he’s all ready so I’ll say goodnight ...” He held out that large hand, for a moment Jason was confused and then it dawned; the money!

Pulling his wallet out of his inside jacket pocket, he drew out the £400 a mix of tens and twenties, and handed them over, with a quick count and a nod, Gary turned towards the front door, as he left he called out.

“Enjoy yerself mate, maybe see y’ in the morning eh!”

As the front door slammed shut, Jason heard the snick of another opening. A slight form came into the room, and stood head bowed hands clasped behind his back in a perfect pose of submission.

Not sure what to do, Jason got up and walked over to the young man. He was dressed in tight black jeans and an even tighter white t-shirt and his feet were bare. The long highlighted hair hung down covering his face, a face Jason had to see.

Placing two fingers under his chin he tilted the boys head back, just enough to reveal, soft full lips, standing out a deep rose in the pale skin, the eyes weren’t shut but downcast, the lashes long, a dark gold, brushing high and slightly hollowed cheeks.

Trying to find his voice, Jason took a deep breath and licking dry lips spoke.

“Look at me!” he hadn’t meant it to be an order, but in his nervousness his voice sounded harsh, whatever his intent, the boy did as he was told.

A pair of deep blue eyes looked up and through him, and Jason couldn’t hold back the sob, he knew those eyes even as dull as they were.

“What do you want?” the sound of Mark’s voice after so long, made Jason want to hug him, that silly little voice, always full of laughter, but not now.

“Mark?” nothing, it was as if he hadn’t spoken, maybe if he went along with this for a while, got his friend to relax a bit, “Nothing heavy, can I just... just touch you?”

He just caught the frown before the face became once again a blank mask, taking it as permission, Jason stroked his hand lightly across a denim covered hip, the bones prominent, up across ribs, and chest, he could feel a nipple hard beneath the light cotton, up towards the shoulder, neck covered by a wide leather collar, back to the face, still expressionless and up into the long silky hair. Without realising he’d done it, he put just a little pressure on the head and the boy went instantly, gracefully to his knees. Hand still resting in place, he felt the soft touch against the zipper if his trousers, followed by gentle nuzzling, the erection that he’d lost when he recognized his young friend came back so fast it hurt and left him feeling dizzy.

He wanted to stop the fingers that opened his fly and felt inside his boxers, he wanted to stop those soft lips that were mouthing him through the cotton, and Christ but he wanted to stop that hot mouth that had taken him in, tongue working him expertly, but it was all so fucking good, and in that moment he had an epiphany, he’d always wanted this from Mark, even while he was fending off guys in the clubs, all desperate to get their hands on something so pretty, so innocent, he’d wanted the same thing, he’d just pushed it down so deep, he’d succeeded in fooling himself.

There was a difference though, between him and all those others, he didn’t and never had wanted to hurt Mark in the process.

Through these thoughts that mouth continued to work him, and when he felt throat muscles swallow around his length, he almost came.

Forcing the mouth off of him he stood swaying and gasping, hands gripping the fine boned shoulders in a crushing grip in order to steady himself.

“Are you sure you don’t want to fuck me? You can, you can bend me over and take me, as hard as you want, or you can tie me up, whip me, spank me, I’ll cry and scream for you if you want me to, if not you can gag me, whatever you want... you” Through the haze of lust those words were creating, Jason nevertheless still heard the catch in Mar...Anthony’s voice “you can ...you can fist me, or...” Jason looked at his face, and for the first time since he’d come into the room there was a sign of emotion on that lovely face, and it was shame.

Needing to know, but doubting he’d hear the truth, he took hold of his chin once more, making the lad look at him.

“Is that what _you_ want? Is it what you _need_?” He took a deep breath “Do you know me? Do you recognise me? Please don’t look through me? Look at me, tell me you recognise me!”  
For a moment Jason hoped, but that blank look returned.

“I want...I need whatever you want!”

Frustrated, knowing that this was his friend, but receiving no recognition, he did something he knew he’d regret.

“I want to fuck you, but in a bed, no ropes, no toys, and _Christ_ no pain, just you and me.”

Anthony stood up then, and turned walking towards the door he’d entered through, Jason noticed the cuffs around both wrists, clearly a match to the collar, and taking yet another deep breath he followed.

“Do you want the lights on, or just a lamp? If you’d rather not look at me I can make it dark.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to look at you?” Jason couldn’t hide the surprise at such a notion.

“Some men want to pretend, don’t want to see who they’re really fucking.” Standing by the bed, he looked at Jason, waiting for a command, when nothing happened he sighed and asked “Do you want to strip me or shall I do it? Do you want a show, or for me to just undress?”

Jason couldn’t quite hide the smile, the kid sounded almost exasperated, and that was so very Markie.

“Strip for me, let me watch you. You’re very beautiful”

Anthony blushed at that, he actually blushed, but surely he’d been told that before, _thousands_ of times in the past, did he not remember any of it, did he really not believe it?

Even as Jason wondered about that, he sat on the bed to watch the show that was being put on, just for him.

If he remembered nothing else of his past life, he’d certainly not forgotten how to move, if anything he was even more sensuous now, but as pale skin was revealed Jason was shocked at how skinny his old friend was now, Mark had never had much flesh on him, it had always been a concern, and as Mark tended not to eat when he was worried, and he worried a lot, Jason and Howard had taken it upon themselves to watch over their younger band mate, it had really come to a head when Rob had left, Mark had gone for nearly a week, not eating, not speaking, and judging by his eyes, crying all night instead of sleeping, in the end the two dancers had simply stolen the key to Mark’s room one night and ignoring Mark’s sobbed protests gotten into bed on either side of him and held him until finally he fell asleep.

They’d done that, one or both of them, for the rest of their time together. The three of them had become even closer in those final days, until they returned to England, promising to keep in touch.

Jason swallowed down the bitter taste in his mouth, as Anthony stood naked in front of him, nothing but black leather at wrist and neck, and a blue and green dolphin tattoo.

Having no idea what was going through his customers head Anthony moved forward, reaching out to undress him, he knew there was no hurry, they had all night, but he was uneasy with this man, he didn’t know why, he’d not tried anything funny, but maybe _that_ was the problem, he’d be happier when they were fucking, that he understood.

“Mark? For fuck’s sake I know it’s you!” he grabbed the tiny waist pulling the unresisting body towards him, and placed his finger over the tattoo, tracing the ink, it was still a crap tattoo, more like a kid’s transfer, but Mark had been so proud of it. “ _Why_ don’t you recognise me? What _happened_ to you?” He tightened the grip on the sharp hip bone, and for the first time, he saw fear on Anthony’s face.

Anthony tried to pull away, but it wasn’t natural to him to resist, why did this man keep calling him Mark, was that who he wanted to be with, someone who didn’t want him back? He couldn’t imagine that, this man was very handsome, and he had a big cock, why wouldn’t this Mark want him. He suddenly felt dizzy, he could feel himself held between two men, that wasn’t so strange, he’d been fucked by couples and more plenty of times, but they weren’t screwing him, they were just holding him, and he felt _safe_. One of those men...one of those men was...

Jason caught him as he fainted, he had no idea what had just happened, but he was scared, was Mark on drugs? Was he sick? Scooping the small body up into his arms he placed him as carefully as possible on the bed. His skin was clammy, and Jason smoothed his hair from his face, and watched, hoping he’d come around soon.

As Anthony began to come to, he felt the gentle hands touching his face and a soft worried voice speaking words meant to comfort, but all they did was confuse him, his head was full of memories he couldn’t have, dancing and laughter, lights and the noise, but there was sadness and loss, and so much shame and humiliation.

He didn’t want those memories; he didn’t want to be that person. He was better off here, Gary looked after him, he dealt with all those things that Anthony was too stupid to do for himself, bills and stuff. Gary had told Anthony plenty of times that he was just a pretty face, that he didn’t have any real talent, he was just for decoration, couldn’t sing, could barely dance he was just...

“You’re not Justin! _You’re Jason_!”


	2. Anthony

Part Two

Jason couldn’t, didn’t even try to stop the tears that spilled from his eyes at that simple statement, too relieved to recognise the horror on Mark’s face.

“You remember me Markie, you remember...”

“Get off me...get off!” Mark pushed himself off the bed, falling over himself to get away from his past.

“Mark? What’s wrong? Why are you scared of me?” And he could see it now, Mark was terrified of him, or... or of himself. “Mark, I’ve missed you so much, I thought... Jesus I thought you were dead. Howard and I, we spent months trying to find you, your parents, they went to the police, the Salvation Army even, your mum... she prayed for you all the time, and your dad, he so wanted his lovely boy back. 

Tracy got married, just a quiet affair, and Dan, well he misses his big brother, blamed himself I think. Mark everyone wants you back, when Robbie heard you were missing, he found me, said he’d give anything, do anything to get you home, he told me about the two of you, I wasn’t really surprised, what with how upset you were when he went. I don’t know how you ended up here, I don’t care, no one will, we just...”

“Wh... what about ... about Gary?” Jason watched Mark for a moment; he was huddled in the corner, his arms tightly wrapped around himself.

“Your pim...”

“No! No... not him...Gary! Does he want me back? Did he look for me?”

“I haven’t spoken to Gary, not since the split, I don’t even know if he knows, your dad phoned Nigel but... is he the only one who matters Mark? Don’t the rest of us count?” He tried not to sound bitter, but why was Gary so important? Always fucking Gary Barlow!

“It were Gary, they told me... at the record company, he didn’t want them to sign me. They said he was their star artist; I weren’t nothing more than a novelty, not worth upsetting Gary over. Everyone else just laughed at me, Gaz always said I were just decoration.”

“Gary did that? Said that? Shit I know he’s an arrogant bastard but...”

“You need to leave. Please? I need to be on my own, I don’t have any money to pay you back, but... but please go?” For the first time tears were on Mark’s face and however much Jason wanted to hold and comfort Mark he knew at the moment he’d just make it worse.

“I’ll go, for now. Markie? Will you tell him? I mean will you stop me coming back?” He couldn’t hide the fear in his voice, to have found him only to lose him again would be too cruel.

“I don’t know, I can’t think... not now... _please_?” He looked so small, so broken, not even in those photos had he looked like this, and it was all Jason’s fault.

“I’m going, but please Markie let me come back, next week, will you _promise_ me that?”

He received a nod, and satisfied that Mark would never break a promise, he picked up his jacket and left. It was only as he shut the front door behind him that he realised his trousers were still undone, and he was exposing himself, he quickly sorted himself out and then left.

 

When he got home, he sat trying to work out what to do next. He had to get Mark out of that flat and away from his pimp, he needed to talk to Howard, and Robbie, but first he needed to have words with Gary, he just had to get past Nigel to do it. 

Jason waited until his landline had been installed to make the call. Though he wasn’t sure this would work, he only really had one hope to get a message past Nigel.

“Good afternoon, BMG how may I be of assistance!”

“Ummm hello, could you put me through to Simon Cowell please?”

“Of course, may I take your name?”

“Yes its Jason Orange”  
“Thank you, one moment please!”

More than half expecting to be told that Simon wouldn’t talk to some has been pop star, meant that he almost dropped the phone.

“Jason! It’s been absolutely years, how are you? What are you up to now?”

“Hello Simon, I’m fine, busy being a full time student! Look I know you’re a busy man, so I’ll get straight to the point, I need a big favour”

“You don’t say!” Jason wasn’t sure, Simon had always been hard to read, but Jason thought he sounded hurt.

“I’m sorry Simon, but it _really_ is important, I need to get a message to Gary...”

“Oh for crying out loud, I am not Gary bloody Barlow’s PA Jason! If you want to speak to Gary why don’t you just call him? Or try Nigel, he always had a _soft_ spot for you, didn’t he?”

“I know you’re an important man Simon, but I don’t have a number for Gary, and... Nigel won’t pass on messages to him, not _even_ when it’s important... come on Si, you know what he’s like?”

“Oh all right, if it upsets that vicious old queen. What’s the message?”

Jason couldn’t help but smile, talk about pots and kettles.

“Can you ask him to call me, I’ve found the little one and it’s broken, tell him... tell him it’s going to take us all to fix it!”

“You do realise that that makes absolutely no sense at all? Right give me your number, and I’ll do what I can, but if he doesn’t want to call...”

“I know, thank you Simon, I really appreciate it!”

“Mmmm, just how much _appreciation_ are you willing to show?”

“Simon you are incorrigible!” 

After giving his phone number and a promise that they’d have dinner in the near future he hung up, now all he could do was wait, and hope. He didn’t want to call Howard until he knew what was going to happen with Gary.

 

He spent the next couple of hours reading, and it was only when he took his eyes off the page for a moment, and then couldn’t see the print when he looked back, that he realised how dark it had gotten. Placing his book face down on the arm of the chair he got up, stretching the kinks out of his body before heading into the small kitchen, to prepare his dinner.

He had just finished chopping vegetables for a stir fry, when the phone rang. Heading back into the front room, he grabbed the phone.

“Hello!”

“Jason?”

“Yeah, who’s ... _Gary_?”

“Hello mate! I got this weird message, have to admit that after not hearing from any of you for so long I was tempted to ignore it, but...”

“We’ve all _tried_ to speak to you Gary! You didn’t even bother to get back to Mark’s dad!” Jason had decided that if Gary phoned he’d keep calm, but how dare he try to shift the blame for the lack of contact

“What d’you mean? Why would Markie’s _dad_ call...is Mark all right, did something happen?” There was real panic in Gary’s voice, and Jason was certain that Gary had no idea that Mark had gone missing.

“Gary... mate, Mark disappeared nearly four years ago...” Gary tried to interrupt, but Jason continued over him “We all tried to speak to you but Nigel always said you were too busy, that he’d get you to call, we just thought you didn’t care...” Jason’s voice trailed off as he heard the sob at the other end of the line.

“I... I wouldn’t...if I’d _known_... that message... you said... you said you’d found the little one! You’ve _found Mark_? Is he... broken you said broken!”

“Listen Gaz, I don’t want to do this on the phone, can you come over?”

“Ummm yeah, you’re in London yeah? It’ll take me about four hours to get down, maybe less if I toe it!”

“Listen, don’t go getting yourself nicked, take it easy, and Gaz if you’re not up to it tonight, wait ‘til the morning, don’t want you getting hurt!”

“I’ll be fine, but... it’ll be after midnight, is that okay? Give me your address!”

After hanging up to Gary he called Howard, telling him only the bones of it, Howard had been stuffing things into a bag as they spoke.

“I’ll be about three hours, Jay you are _sure_ it’s him?” He could hear the huskiness in Howard’s voice.

“I am! If you need to take a break, then stop, right?” no response “Drive safe I’ll see you soon.”

Knowing there was nothing he could do but wait, Jason decided to go ahead with his meal, starving himself wouldn’t help. It didn’t take long to cook, and he sat and ate it, though tasting very little, he was too caught up in how he was going to tell his friends what he’d discovered, it was then he realised that he’d forgotten someone.

Picking up his phone book, he dialled the code for LA and then Robbie’s number; he was beyond working out time differences, so was pleased to hear that Stoke accent.

“Rob, its Jay... I’ve found him!”

“Is he all right? Is he safe?”

“No... no he’s not, we haven’t got him back yet... I’m not even sure we can, it’s about as bad as it can be, look is there any way you can...”

“Not for a couple of weeks, you know if I could...”

“Don’t be daft, I know, have you got a pen and paper?”

By the time he’d finished talking to Rob it was nearly eleven, and he really wanted to go to bed, but he doubted any of them would get much sleep tonight, still just in case, he made sure the sheets on his own bed were reasonable, they should be but it never hurt to check, not that Dougie would mind either way. Getting a second set and a spare pillow out, he took them through to the sofa, for Gary.

The knock on the door left him feeling suddenly terrified, he had no idea how this was going to go, but whatever happened, this was their chance to get Mark back where he belonged.

Howard stood at the door; Jason only needed one quick look to see that his friend had been crying. Opening his arms they fell into an embrace.

“You didn’t _drive_ like that did you? You great soppy fool!” Jason didn’t try to hide the affection in his voice

Sniffing loudly, Howard nodded against Jason’s neck. 

“You’re sure… it _is_ him?” Howard looked into Jason’s eyes as if trying to read the truth.

“Would I drag you all here if it wasn’t?”

“All? Is Rob coming home?” As they spoke Jason led Howard through to the lounge, but Howard was too preoccupied to take much notice of his mate’s new abode.

“He is, but not for a couple of weeks, Gary’s on his way… should be here soon.”

“Gary! That _twat_ hasn’t wanted to know for the last four years, now suddenly he’s interested, that’s so fucking typical…”

Jason shut Howard up in the way that he’d always found worked best, he kissed him. When he pulled away Howard stayed quiet, waiting to hear what Jason had to say.

“He didn’t know… yeah it sounds like a cop out, but Doug he didn’t! That cunt Nigel never passed on any of the messages…”

“Then how did you…?”

“Simon, Simon Cowell, means I have to go and have lunch with him, which’ll probably end up with him trying to cop a feel, but it’s a very small price to pay. Gary’s in a state… _don’t_ look at me like that, we’ve had four years to come to terms – or not – with Markie being gone, he hasn’t even had four hours. Be nice to him… please?”

“Not promising... oh all right, I’ll try!” 

“Thanks! Are you hungry?” 

“Nah, I’m fine!”

“Will a sandwich do?” 

“I said I were... yeah ta make it two would ya?”

Jason headed to the kitchen smiling and shaking his head, they didn’t see each other nearly as often as he would like, but they knew each other so well. After making the sandwich, he got out a couple more mugs and stuck a teabag in each, ready for when Gary arrived.

“Here you go, that should hold starvation back for an hour!”

The thanks were muffled as Howard tucked in. In truth Jason had wanted to keep Howard occupied, he really didn’t want to have to answer the same questions over and over, he just hoped Gary would arrive soon, the way Howard was demolishing those sarnies he wouldn’t stay quiet for long.  
At that moment the door buzzer sounded.

“Always did hit his cues on time!” Jason got up to answer the door as Howard frowned up at him.

If Howard had looked red eyed and teary, then Gary looked on the point of an emotional breakdown. He wanted to hug him the way he had Howard, but he and Gary had never been like that, and yet he was sure that Gary needed it anyway, so preparing to be shrugged off, he grabbed his former band mate in a bear hug and found himself almost crushed in return.

“I didn’t know...I swear I didn’t... where is he... can we see him?” Gary was sobbing and babbling as Jason manoeuvred them inside.

He needn’t have worried about Howard, as soon as he saw the state that Gary was in, he joined them, and they held on to each other, crying, releasing some of the emotions that had been locked up for the past four years.

Finally pulling away from each other there was a manly moment where they each tried to compose themselves; broken by Howard’s “We always were a bunch of soppy lasses!”

The laughter was natural, even if it did contain the occasional sob. Jason went to switch on the kettle returning with steaming mugs of tea.

As Gary took a sip, Howard asked the questions Jason had been dreading.

“So where is he? How did you find him? And what the _fuck_ does the little shit think he’s playing at?” Jason understood the underlying anger, he’d felt it himself, but knowing the truth of it... 

“I found this...” placing the postcard on the coffee table so both men could see it “I couldn’t believe at first that it could be him, but... it niggled enough that I phoned. Some bloke answered... I went there, he showed me photos and still I wanted to believe it was just a likeness, but that bloody tattoo...” Jason took a deep breath and found his hands resting on his knees covered by those of his friends, giving him the strength to go on “ When I saw him he looked so small, he was bruised and... fragile looking. He didn’t know me, and I wanted him... I’m sorry I know how sick that must sound, but...” a gentle squeeze on his left hand, understanding “ I’m still not sure what it were, but he fainted, when he came to he were terrified... he remembered.” Jason took another shaky breath.

“Did he say what had happened, why he were there?” Gary asked his voice catching.

“Not really, he said he were ashamed at failing, that the record company dropped him because you wanted them to, so as not to upset you...”

“ _What_? I never... I _wouldn’t_ have... he must hate me so much!” Gary sat shaking his head “Fucking Nigel! It must have been him... but why? He were still managing Mark, what would he gain by doing that? Except...”

“Except what?” Jason had moved forward, now he was the one holding Gary’s hand.

“He always wanted him, not the way he wanted you, that were different, no with Mark it were always a bit nasty, but he never did anything, at least not that I know of... but he were always putting him down, nothing more than a pretty face, decoration that sort of thing... and I’d laugh and agree not ‘cause I believed that, but ‘cause it were always easier to go along with him...”

“He told me that you said those things to him, often. His pimp is called Gary by the way!”

“Shit!” Howard’s exclamation could have been a response to many things, it seemed apt for everything.

They sat in silence for a while.

“When can we see him?” Gary sounded almost as broken as Mark, and it hurt Jason to hear it.

“I need to make another appointment, it’ll depend on whether Mark has kept his promise or not, but this is still our Markie, so I’m guessing he still holds promises as sacred. Right now I think we need to get some sleep, Gaz will you be all right on the sofa bed?” an affirmative nod “Do you want a hand making it up?”

“Nah mate you two head off, I’ll be fine, see you in the... afternoon as it’s already nearly five. Sleep well”

It seemed so natural to all of them that Howard would share Jason’s bed, even after all these years.

Once cleaned up and under the covers, the two friends held each other, both exhausted and yet unable to fall asleep.

“You said there were photos, what sort of photos?”

“I really don’t think you want to know mate!”

“I’m not some little kid to be protected... that were Markie’s role!”

“On his own, with men, being...used, they looked a few years old, he wasn’t so skinny and his hair were shorter. Now go to sleep”

 

Jason wasn’t looking forward to making the call, but the sooner he did it the sooner they might get Mark back, but they all had to face the possibility that he wouldn’t come home. 

 

“Hmmm hello, it’s Justin, I were wondering if I could make another appointment with... with Anthony?”


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three

 

The plan was simple, Jason would go up to the flat and as soon as ‘Gary the pimp’ left he’d phone Howard and put the front door on the latch. Then the difficult part would begin.

When Jason arrived he was even more nervous than the last time. As the door opened Jason was convinced that Mark must have said something as Gary didn’t look too happy.

“Ah Justin, listen I owe y’ an apology.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Can’t Anthony see me tonight?” He couldn’t completely keep the panic from his voice.

“What? No, no it’s not that. Look come in. No it’s well... you booked for the night last time and I ‘eard what ‘appened: little shit told me ‘e threw a tantrum and made y’ leave.”

“It’s all right I...”

“Well it’s not on an’ ‘e won’t be doing that again in a ‘urry. So there won’t be no charge for tonight, can’t ‘ave word getting around that I’m trying to rip blokes off...”

“Oh... um... right thanks!”

“No worries mate, you know where the drink is, anything else you want before I leave y’ to it?”

“No thanks. Oh um... you showed me some photos last time, I just wondered...”

“Yeah? Spit it out mate!”

“Is the any video of him, you know _getting_...?”

“Ah right, well y’ do ‘ave _all_ night, may as well get in the mood.” Walking to a cupboard by the TV he opened the doors to reveal rows of video cassettes “ ‘e’s in most of these, they’re dated, I can recommend some of the early ones, just ‘cause he tended to struggle more back then, but the more recent ones are a bit more... _specialised_ shall we say!” 

“Right yeah thanks!” Jason didn’t want to think too much on what _specialised_ meant “well I may see you in the morning then?”

“I doubt it, got a bit of business. Next time!” and with that he finally left with a last shout of “Anthony! Get your little arse out here, and behave this time or else! ‘ave fun mate!”

Grabbing the mobile phone that Gary had lent him from his jacket pocket, he dialled Howard’s number.

“What’s wrong? Why’s it taking so long?” Jay could hear the worry in Howard’s voice, his lisp more pronounced when he was stressed. 

“It’s okay, he should be leaving about now, when you’re sure he’s gone come on up, no.3!”

“Right! There he goes, shit he’s stopped to talk to some old geezer” Jason disconnected the call as he heard the bedroom door open; he turned and stared as Mark appeared in the doorway.

“Mark, are you all right?” Jason moved forward and was relieved when the younger man all but threw himself into Jason’s embrace. “I thought you might not see me again?”

“I didn’t think you’d come back!” Mark’s voice was rough, and his body was trembling, Jason just held him tighter for a few moments and then he pushed him back a little.

“Mark you have to make a decision, I want you to come with me... with us, Howard and Gary are on their way up here, please... don’t get mad at me? We want you to come home Markie, where you belong... we miss you... we love you.” Jason could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks, but was too afraid to let go of Mark long enough to wipe them away. He didn’t need to, Mark did it for him.

“I can’t! Jay, the things I’ve done, how can any of you love me. Wait did you say _Gary_!” Now he did try to pull away.

“Mark! He didn’t know you were missing and he didn’t tell the record company to drop you, it were that bastard Nigel, I swear Gary wants you back just as much as Dougie and Robbie and me!”

As Jason finished speaking there was a tapping at the door, and Jason realised he’d forgotten to put it on the latch. Taking the chance of letting Mark go, he moved to let his friends in.

As soon as Howard saw Mark he dived on him, arms wrapped so tightly around him that the smaller man had all but disappeared, only the squeaking the giveaway that Mark was still in there.

The sudden shout of “Owww” had Howard stepping back “you _pinched_ me?”

“ _You_ were _crushing_ me you big hairy oaf!” but there was the hint of a smile playing around the bruised lips.

“Mark?” Gary had been standing by the door ready to flee.

“Gaz!” Big blue eyes filled with shame and fear looked up at him, and Gary followed Howard’s example moving to his friend he pulled him close to his chest and held him as tightly as he dared, so fragile did Mark seem, so tiny. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know, if I had...”

“ _Shhhhhh_!”

“Guys? Markie you need to decide, are you coming with us?” Jason found himself fighting the urge to cross his fingers.

Pulling out of Gary’s arms Mark stood looking at these three men, men he’d forgotten for nearly four years, in the days since Jason’s first visit more and more memories had come back to him. Many of those times had been wonderful, but so many had been bad, being made to feel worthless, the exhaustion and loss, having to smile when all he’d wanted to do was curl up and weep. And then there were those times after Rob had left when Jason and Howard had come to him, and let him cry and rant, and they’d just held him, giving him the comfort he needed, and asking nothing in return, they’d been his friends.

“He’ll come looking for me... I make him too much money for him to just let me go.”

“We’ll worry about that later; do you _want_ to leave here?” Jason asked, trying not push, this had to be Mark’s decision.

It was quiet, but it was the answer they’d all been praying for.

“Yes”

“Right! We have time but I’ll be happier when we’re away from here. Mark go and get together anything you want to take, Howard’s car is parked up the road, _well_ go on then.” He patted Mark on the bottom to get him to shift, just as he would have years ago.

As soon as Mark had disappeared into the bedroom Jason turned to the others.

“We need to get these tapes out of here!”

“Why what are they?” Howard asked as looked at the collection.

“ _They’re Mark_ , and we have to destroy them, there are the albums too” As he said this Gary picked up a photo album from the coffee table, Jason just had the chance to note that this one had a different colour cover to the one he’d been handed, but before he could tell Gary to put it down the singer had opened it.

“Oh my God! Oh _God no_!” the expression of horror on Gary’s face told Jason that these pictures were more extreme than the ones he’d seen.

“Gary? _Gary_! We don’t have time to freak out now, put it down and help Howard with the tapes, yeah?” Jason stepped forwards taking the book from Gary’s shaking hands. “Gaz? Help Dougie!”

Gary nodded and started piling the tapes into Howard arms, then grabbing an armful of his own.

The two men headed down to the car, still holding the album Jason moved to the window and watched as his friends approached the car, he couldn’t help the chuckle as he watched them realise that the keys were in Howard’s front jeans pocket, and that Gary was the one with a free hand. Watching Gary try to fish out car keys and try not to touch anything else seemed almost too normal in the circumstances.

Knowing it was unwise he never the less opened the book he held. The pictures seemed fairly recent, this was how Mark looked now, and he was being screwed by two men at the same time, the look of fear and anguish was too much for Jason and he closed the covers, and turning to find the others, his eyes met Mark’s.

“I told you I’d done things, sick _disgusting_ things, I’m a whore Jay! Some of those things, I enjoyed, getting fucked rough by some big hard cock, being bent over and caned, I can come _just_ from that y’know. Some of it were good. I’m a sick little fuck, how can you want me back?”

“The picture I just looked at was of a scared young man, who wasn’t enjoying being hurt. Maybe you did like some of it, there’s _nothing wrong_ with enjoying sex, and lots of people get off on corporal punishment, but I don’t believe you’re sick, you were surviving, and I’m _proud_ of you for that, I’m glad because otherwise... otherwise I’d have lost you forever, and I don’t want to live in a world that doesn’t have a daft little chatterbox called Mark Owen in it.” 

Mark looked at Jason as if searching for the truth in his words, whatever he saw there seemed to satisfy him, and a weak smile flickered across his face for a brief moment. And then he noticed the cupboard.

“Wha... what are you doing with those?

“We’ll get rid of them, we can’t leave anything behind that he can use against you, do you know if there’s anything else? What about the rest of the photos?” Jason hated seeing Mark so uncomfortable but they needed to get everything.

“I’ll get the rest. Jay? You really will destroy all this won’t you?”

“Come here!” Mark went to Jason and was held for a moment “What do you think? You can do it yourself if you want to be sure. Now where have Pinky and Perky got to?” 

Mark giggled as a voice from the door replied

“I ‘eard that, what does that make you then Larry the Lamb or Muffin the Mule?” Howard couldn’t quite keep the laughter out of his voice, not with Mark giggling like old times.

“I reckon the three of you are more like Mary, Mungo and Midge, and you can fight amongst yourselves over who’s who!” Gary added as he joined his friends. “Right, next trip!” As he loaded Howard up with more tapes he checked to make sure he had the keys, he really didn’t want to have to go through that palaver again.

Within the hour, they had all the tapes, photos and discs, loaded up. When asked if Mark had his clothes packed he held up a small holdall.

“I don’t really have much in the way of outdoor clothes, just a couple of pairs of jeans and some shirts, and some toiletries.” He didn’t mention the make-up bag or bottles of pills.

Howard offered to carry the bag but Mark clung to it, and took one last look around the flat he’d lived in for over three years. Taking a deep breath, he walked past his three friends and out the door.

 

It was a bit cramped now in Howards car and Jason offered to get the tube back, but the panicked look from Mark stopped him, and in the end he squeezed in the back with him. As the car pulled out and they headed back to Jason’s flat, he felt a cold slim hand slip into his, and he squeezed back hoping to reassure Mark that he’d made the right choice.

During the drive back Gary and Howard had kept up a stream of light hearted bickering that had helped to ease the atmosphere for which Jason had been doubly grateful. Firstly that the two seemed to have overcome that initial discomfort with each other and secondly that it gave them all a little time before the unavoidable conversation: what was Mark going to do next?

For Mark’s part the banter and closeness was like the pain/pleasure feeling of being held down and roughly fucked – having these three men in his life again was in some ways a comfort, but having them see what he was now; a filthy whore, was worse than any humiliation he’d been put through in the last four years. He hadn’t realised that he was trembling until he felt Jason’s arm go around him, pulling him close until his body stilled against that firm warmth of his friend. The light brush of lips to his forehead was almost enough to break him.

When they got back to Jason’s, Howard took one quick look at Mark and suggested that Jay take him up to the flat and get settled while he and Gary started to unpack the car, Gary was about to complain – on principle – but one look from Howard stopped him in his tracks and he moved to the boot.

Nervously Mark followed Jason inside, he couldn’t help but think of the early days before Gary – the ‘other’ Gary – had the flat, at that time they were in a pokey bedsit, not the sort of place one could bring clients to, and so Mark had gone back with these men to cheap hotels or their own homes, sometimes it was cars or alleyways. He’d always hated getting into their cars, as if them driving out to Epping or some other out of the way place left him any more vulnerable than being in their homes. 

Right now he felt as scared as that first time, though at least then he’d had the benefit of being high to numb the fear; of course it wasn’t as if he was going to be gang-banged once inside, if anything it was going to be so much worse.

Although he’d just moved in, the decor had Jason’s stamp all over it – light spacious and calm – a place a person could be at ease, maybe even heal.

“Markie?”

Mark looked at Jason, his old friend looked worried and tired, and Mark felt that instinct to please kicking in – that need to do whatever he had to to make others happy, that thing that made him such a good little slut. It was without conscious thought that Mark dropped to his knees, his hands going to Jason’s hips his face pressed to the man’s crotch. He felt hands come to his shoulders, and then he was pushed back. The force enough to send him sprawling unable to catch himself.

“What the _hell_ are you doing?” Jason all but shouted and Mark knew he’d made a huge blunder, he’d disgusted him. Trying to scramble away, the urge to run strong. When those hands again touched him he braced himself for violence, instead he was drawn into an embrace.

“Christ Markie, you don’t have to do _that_ , you don’t ever have to do that again. I’m sorry I shouted, I’m sorry I scared you, and _Christ_ but I’m sorry I left you. I knew how much you were hurting, how alone you felt after Rob left, I should have stayed, been there for you. Can you forgive me?” 

Mark could feel the dampness of Jason’s tears as they fell into his hair. Slowly he brought his own arms up and wrapped them around Jason’s back. The two men rocked together there on the floor with Mark whispering “Don’t cry please, I’m not worth it... I’m not... _please_ don’t cry”.

That was how Gary and Howard found them. They hovered in the hallway not sure whether to just pretend there weren’t two men sobbing on the floor of the lounge. It was of course Gary who broke the silence, as Howard had already started to tear up himself.

 

“Will you two stop acting like a pair of big girls blouses and give us a hand here, now look what you’ve done, Dougie’s gone and sprung a leak!”

“Oi! Shut yer face wanker!”

Getting to his feet first Jason held out a hand to Mark who after a moment’s hesitation took it and was pulled much too easily to his feet.

“Jay where do you want these” Howard nodded to the tapes he held.

“Anywhere, we can start taping over them in a while, then we can get rid” Jason was still holding Mark’s hand and he gave it a squeeze.

“That’s gonna take a while mate, there must be two hundred at least!” Gary suddenly realised what that meant, two hundred tapes of Mark being abused by so many nameless men, more than three years while he lived as this ‘Anthony’ with no memory of his friends or family, of how loved he was, and now he was a shadow of that boy who had blazed with light and laughter. And as much as Gary loved Mark, as happy as he was to have him home he knew he wasn’t the one who could bring Mark back to them, nor was it Howard or even Robbie, no matter how much Mark may have loved him once, Gary was certain that Mark would, could only ever really open up to Jason, he and the others would only end up hurting him more with their own shame, never intentionally, but they would do it just the same. 

Making the decision Gary put his pile of tapes down and nudged Howard toward the door.  
Once outside he stopped his friend.

“Doug mate, I think we should book into a hotel, somewhere nearby...”

“ _You what_? You running away already, fuck we’ve only just got him back and...”

“No! Jesus No! Mark’s terrified and ashamed and... and I think we need to give him and Jay some space. He trusts Jason, now I’m not saying he doesn’t trust us but... you must‘ve seen it... between them? We’ll be here whenever we’re needed. Yeah?”

Howard had listened, the belligerent expression on his face softening in understanding, he’d known that Jason was fond of Mark, well they all were, you couldn’t know Mark without wanting to cuddle him. Well most people, Nigel hadn’t seemed to feel that way. But Jay, well Jay had felt something else. Not that he’d have made a move, Mark was too young, not to mention head over heels in love with Rob. It was after Rob had left the band, abandoned Markie and the two of them had tried to comfort him that Howard had realised just how deeply Jason had fallen. Never one to sleep well Jason would lay awake watching over Mark, stroking his hair, his cheek, soothing away the bad dreams. And yet when it all fell apart Jason had walked away, they’d all just walked away, leaving each other to their respective fates.

“Nearby? Right! Anyway there isn’t much room is there, and we’ll never both manage on that sofa!” He smiled at Gary and they headed out to the car. He just hoped that neither of his friends would end up more damaged than they already were.

By the time the two had finished emptying the car Jason had made tea and sandwiches, and Gary had booked rooms in a nearby hotel. There was no sign of Mark when they dropped off the last load and without being asked Jason tipped his head in the direction of the bathroom.

Howard took the opportunity to tell Jason of their plan, he noted that Jay looked if anything relieved rather than abandoned. He just hoped Mark would feel the same.

They had gotten through a good number of the sarnies by the time Mark emerged from the bathroom. Hair damp, skin a slightly flushed pink, and a shirt about four times too large for him, Gary didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the sight. Mark had always been small, skinny at times, but now he looked like a child, so much younger than he had in those early days.

Before any comment was made though, Mark curled himself up on the sofa between Jason and Howard, Jason got up almost at once, and a flicker of hurt crossed Mark’s otherwise impassive face, but a minute later Jay returned with a mug of steaming tea that he placed into Mark’s hands, and a relieved smile curled his lips as Jason settled himself back down giving Mark his own smile in return. 

Gary explained about he and Howard staying in a hotel, which Mark seemed to take well, and they packed their bags before settling down for the evening. Jason made yet more tea – the answer to all the world’s ills, and the friends watched TV as if there were nothing remarkable about having Mark back, about the four of them being together again after so long.

It was when the now empty mug fell out of his hands that the others realised that Mark had fallen asleep his head resting against Jason’s arm. Howard retrieved the mug as Jay gently moved Mark. The moment he was touched his eyes flew open, and though clearly disorientated and afraid he put up no defence, he knew there was no point, but the quiet “ _Shhh Markie_ ” seemed to settle him.

“Time for bed sleepyhead” 

“Uhmmm? Don’t want to move, can’t!”

Chuckling to himself Howard scooped him up with what seemed no effort at all and started off towards the bedroom.

“Gerrrroffff! Bloody Wookie!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh! Grrf”

And they disappeared into Jason’s bedroom

“And I think that’s our cue to leave” said Gary as he stood, stretched and then frowned “piss first!” 

When Howard returned he walked straight to Jay and wrapped his arms around him, Jason hugged back, surprised that his soft hearted friend had lasted this long without needing comforting.

“It will be all right? _He_ will be, won’t he?” Howard snuffled into Jay’s shoulder.

“I hope so Dougie I hope so, it won’t be for the want of trying. I’ll see you both tomorrow yeah?”

Sniffing and wiping his eyes Howard nodded “After lunch, give you two a bit of time together!”

Jason’s frown was almost funny “Why do we need time together... without you I mean?”

“Mate, you’re supposed to be the smart one, you’ll figure it out!” hefting up his sports bag “Oi Barlow! You fallen down that bog or what?”

Emerging from the bathroom and picking up his own designer luggage and muttering what sounded like ‘uncouth bastard’ he wrapped his free arm around Jay saying goodnight “Look after him for us, not that you wouldn’t but ya know?”

“I know mate, I know, goodnight!”

When the front door closed Jason felt suddenly very nervous. Not sure what to do. He was exhausted and felt he could sleep for a week, but did he take the sofa or bed, would Mark feel abandoned if he slept out here, or worse obligated if Jason got into bed with him, the incident this evening all too vivid in his mind. 

Deciding that a little practical purpose would help to settle him, he picked Mark’s bag up from where it had been left by the window, and opened it, with the intent of making Mark feel at home – and waking up and finding his shampoo and toothbrush ready for him in the bathroom would, Jason hoped go some way in doing so.

The wash bag was under the few items of clothing Mark had brought, and he carried it through to the bathroom, making some room on the shelves he unzipped the bag. Simple mint shampoo and conditioner, face wash and moisturiser, soap and shaving cream all from Body Shop, a razor, toothbrush and paste. All found space amongst Jason’s own mostly Body Shop toiletries. 

Then there were two smaller bags the first had a few cosmetics, foundation and concealer, which made Jason think of the many bruises he must have tried to cover over the years. Eyeliner and mascara, to bring out those pretty eyes and a deep red lipstick. Jason found himself imagining Mark made up, lips pouting ready to be kissed. He dropped the lipstick back in the bag and placed that on the shelf too, he didn’t want Mark to feel the need to hide anything and he hoped the fact that it was there in the open would make him see that.

The second bag was a worry, three bottles; two at least were prescription, Diazepam and Triazolam though that didn’t make Jason feel any better about them, and the third was Amyl Nitrate, well that didn’t need any explanation. The condoms and two tubes of KY were almost a reassurance that Mark was careful and prepared.

He put the smaller bag back into the wash bag and then went to put them back into Mark’s holdall. That’s when he realised he was being watched.


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four

Mark was laying naked on his front on the couch, more sprawled really; legs spread, his bottom slightly raised, as his chin rested on one arm the other was stroking his upper thigh. 

Jason simply stared, it was a gorgeous sight, and Mark really knew how to display himself in the most erotic way, but he had to remember that this wasn’t what Mark wanted it was what he felt was expected.

“Why don’t you bring that over here? Or maybe you’d rather watch one of those first?” Mark inclined his head towards the piles of tapes strewn all over one side of the lounge. Mark turned over onto his back, his right knee raised, the fingers of his left hand stroking almost absentmindedly across one small rosy nipple – though Jason knew every movement had but one intent; to make him so aroused that he’d forget himself, and Christ but it was working.

He looked on mesmerised as Mark continued to play with himself, now idly running a single finger down his semi hard erection and then up the underside, along the perineum to disappear between those smooth pale buttocks, and although he couldn’t see he could tell that the finger was moving in a slow circular motion.

“One of them shows the first time I took two cocks at once, I cry and beg them to stop, but they just push inside me, after a while though I’m begging to be allowed to come, that one is always popular. No? Maybe you’d prefer me on my own, Gary used to buy me lots of toys to play with, some of them were so big I’d be scared to use them the first time, he always filmed it, said it wouldn’t look so good once I was used to it, liked to see me moan in pain just as much as he liked me to show how much I was enjoying it. Or would you like to see me punished, tied up and flogged or ...”

“Shut up! Just fucking _shut up_ Mark!” Jason was on Mark in seconds shaking him as he spat out the words “I don’t want to see _any_ of that, don’t you get it, I don’t want to see you hurt and scared! I want to hold you, I want to take care of you, I want to _make love_ to you!” 

Mark had gone limp as soon as Jason had grabbed him; he was too used to being treated like filth to believe that someone like Jason, decent and honest, could want him. 

“But I don’t _do_ love Jay, don’t you get it? I do sex, I do dirty... _filthy_ fucking! Love’s for the nice people... clean and decent ones... like you!” Still he didn’t try to get out of Jason’s hold on him.

“You loved Bob, I know you loved him ‘cause me and Dougie we watched you break into pieces when he left, and I know you...Christ Mark I’ve never known anyone so full of love as you. Why won’t... why _can’t_ you believe that you deserve to be loved back?”

Jason watched the pain cross Mark’s face at the mention of Robbie. Was that when this self loathing started? He wouldn’t get that answer ‘til he spoke to Rob himself.

Gentling his hold on Mark until it turned into a caress he tried let go of the anger that seeing Mark act like a cheap slut brought out in him. Bringing one hand up to caress a faintly downy cheek, Jay took a second to marvel at the lack of rough stubble. It was if Mark had stopped getting older, at 27 his face shouldn’t still feel like that of a teenage boy and yet there it was beneath his fingers and he couldn’t help the smile.

“Do you even shave more than once a month? Look at you, still looking so young, so _bloody beautiful_ it almost hurts. I just wish you still had that wonderful spark in your eyes. Mark you are and always have been special, but you are the only person who can change things, I love you, but you have to be able to accept that. If you can’t then...” He trailed off not knowing what else he could say to convince Mark.

For his part Mark just lay there under Jason’s weight enjoying the feeling of security it gave him, a tiny bit of him that still wanted more than he’d had for so long soaking up those words, wanting to believe. And then it was gone and Jason was moving away from him, he made to stop him, wanting that feeling to go on, but it wasn’t for him to ask for anything, he just took what was given. And if it didn’t end up with him bruised and beaten he should be grateful.

“Go to bed Mark, I’ll sleep out here tonight... don’t look like that... I want to sleep with you and hold you and keep you safe through the night, but I don’t want you to think it’s about you having to show me your gratitude; I’d rather never touch you again than that. So go back to bed Mark and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

He watched as Mark got up from the sofa, his usual grace deserting him, as he got to his bag he stopped bent down and pulled out the small case, holding it tightly to his chest he disappeared into the other room.

Jason turned off the lights and lay down on the sofa not bothering to make it up, he was too exhausted to even cry and within minutes he was asleep.

The next few days were hard, Mark was subdued, and even though he was clearly making an effort for Howard and Gary as soon as they left he’d disappear into the bathroom or bedroom anywhere but be alone with Jason. When Jason tried to get him to eat, he’d just say he wasn’t hungry, his eyes dull and body lightly trembling. 

Halfway through the week Gary announced that he’d have to go back up to Cheshire for a few days, that he had some things to sort out. Howard had seemed to be expecting this, and Jason wondered what they talked about when they were alone. He felt, _ridiculously_ , left out.

“Gary, don’t tell Nigel about Mark!” 

“What? The lying bastard kept this from me, he drove Mark away, why would you not want me to give him what he deserves?” Gary was all but shouting, only the knowledge that Mark was napping in the other room keeping his voice under control.

“Because... because I’m not sure that he didn’t know _exactly_ where Mark was! He’s not said how he ended up as Anthony, and the fact that his pimp was called Gary just reeks of one of Nigel’s sick jokes. I hope I’m wrong, but if I’m not, if he was involved even in the slightest we don’t want him to know where Mark is now, do we?” 

Jason’s own voice though quieter than Gary’s had been was no less intense, he’d clearly given this much thought, and Gary knew he was right, they couldn’t take the chance.

“What are we going to do about the Owens?” Howard had been silent for a while, but as usual he said something important “we can’t just let them keep thinking that Mark’s dead.”

“I don’t know Doug! At the moment _their_ Mark _is_ dead, and I know I promised I’d tell ‘em even if it were bad but... another few weeks of not knowing after all these years...”

The two friends silently agreed, for now they’d stay quiet about it, and just hope that the young man they all loved could be brought back.

Gary said his goodbyes to Mark, promising to get back down as soon as possible. Howard would stay on at the hotel for a few more days until his ex flew over with Grace for a visit. Jason was sure that Gary was footing the bills, Howard’s DJing was a good job, but not so lucrative that he could throw money away on London hotel rates.

It was two days after Gary’s departure that the doorbell rang, having given Howard a key, Jason approached the door cautiously, looking through the spyhole he saw only a large darkly clad body turned away from the door. Taking a deep breath he opened the door on the security chain, and all but fainted with relief. There; large as life and twice as ugly was ‘The Robster’ himself. The big grin on that cheeky face seemed to melt away as his eyes filled with tears. Jay slammed the door shut to release the chain and yanked it open again catching his toes in the process, not caring he threw his arms around Rob and held on.

The two stood there in the doorway for no more than a few minutes, but when Rob looked up from Jason’s shoulder it was Mark he saw standing uncertainly in the hallway looking so small so fragile, that he couldn’t move or speak, his mind frozen on that image.

Jason sensing as always Mark’s presence turned slightly 

“Look who’s come to see us Mark!” turning back to face Robbie “Come in mate?”

Rob nodded picked up the designer flight bag at his feet and preceded Jason into the flat only to find Mark gone.

“Give him time eh Bob? He’s still jumpy, and we’ve had some setbacks!” saying no more for now, Jason led Rob through to the front room “He’s probably in the bedroom. He... he sleeps a lot, not sure what’ll happen when the pills run out though?”

“What pills? Why’s he on _fucking pills_?” trying to keep his voice down Rob still managed to sound just as angry.

“Sleeping pills and I think anti depressants. He had them where he were before, and as I don’t know enough about what’s happened to him I was hardly gonna take ‘em away were I?” Jason sounded defeated and defensive even to his own ears. Rob just pulled him into a bear hug a quick hard squeeze and let him go.

“So do I go all careful with him or just be meself?” a hint of that famous grin returning

“Not sure it’ll matter either way, but... oh sod it just be yourself, but try not to break anything!”

Understanding the double meaning Robbie strode over to the bedroom and shoving the door open announced himself loudly

“Oi cockface what sort of _hello_ was _that_?” 

Holding his breath Jay listened to the squeal followed by cursing, the breathless giggles and then finally, thankfully, the quiet sobs and I missed yous and why did you leave mes. He went through to the kitchen to put on the kettle and make some food, Robbie would need feeding and he hoped his friend would persuade Mark to have something, even if he had to hold him down and tickle him again to do it. 

Wonder of wonders Mark did eat, all be it only enough to feed a small bird, a stupid analogy as small birds ate huge amounts of food, but it was more than he’d eaten in two days.

 

“Howard’ll be over about six, he’s off away for a bit to see his daughter, I’m glad you didn’t miss him!” Jay spoke as he cleared the plates away looking at Mark curled up next to Rob the way he had next to him that first night, before it all went to hell. He should feel jealous he thought, but he was just relieved to see Mark look if not happy or even content at least relaxed, though he also looked a little shocked.

“Didn’t know Doug was a daddy!” was all he said. 

“How is the great hairy one?” asked Rob

“He’s fine...”

“Not so hairy anymore, but he’s still a bloody great wookie!” Marked chipped in. All three laughed and Jason listened to the banter in the other room as he washed up.

After tea, Mark excused himself saying he was tired, and that he wanted to be more with it when Dougie arrived.

“I’ll give you a call about 5:15 give you time to have a shower!” Mark nodded and disappeared again.

“So what do you think?” Jason asked after a long silence.

“He’s too thin, he’s not right, not Markie, but fuck Jay he’s even more beautiful, how sick does that make me?”

“As sick as it makes me mate!” Jason sighed and leaned forward “There are things you need to know, and things I need you to tell me... personal stuff about the two of you... I’m sorry I know it’s... I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it were relevant to this whole business.”

“Shit! You’re in love with him!” Rob didn’t seem angry, in fact he looked triumphant “I always thought... you were always... I were so... this is great, really mate it’s great!”

“It’s not great, it’s fucking terrible!” Jason didn’t look like a man who’d found the love of his life and Robbie leant forward putting his hand over Jason’s resting on his thigh. “He thinks he’s worthless, and all he seems willing to offer is his body...” a snort from Rob “don’t get me wrong I want him, but... not like that. Not just a mindless fuck with no feeling, no tenderness. He deserves so much, he just won’t believe it.”

It was Rob’s turn to sigh; he squeezed Jason’s hand once and then releasing it sat back.

“You want to know what it were like between us, if I made him think he were useless? 

Rob told him about their relationship, that it had been sweet at first, that he’d always been a bit scared of breaking his smaller lover. Later when things had started to get bad for him, he’d taken it out on the one person he should have protected. He’d slapped Mark around a few times, hated himself for it but couldn’t stop himself. His new friends telling him to drop the little fairy, it was time to play with the big boys now. And he had, he’d buggered Mark one last time, told him he was a pretty fuck and walked out. 

By the time he finished he was crying. There was no point Jason being angry with him, Rob plainly hated himself enough already. There was just one thing he needed to know.

“Did you ever love him, or were it just convenient?” 

“I... at the time I would have said I loved him as a mate, after I would have said nah it were just sex, but when I heard he’d gone I realised I loved him so much. I were just a _stupid kid_ , I didn’t understand what he’d given me, I thought he were a bit simple to be honest. Yet I watched his heart break that night and I just walked away. The only decent thing I did that night were keep those bloody hyenas off him. 

I were wrong for him, still am. I know meself well enough to understand that, but you, Jay you’d love him right.” Taking a deep breath, knowing that what happened next could ruin any chance of a friendship with Mark, he spoke anyway “You and the others need to be his friends he has to be able to trust you, but I could... if you need someone to push him, make him see sense, even though it’ll hurt him, well... I’ll do it!”

“Bob I wouldn’t ask that of you!” Jason looked genuinely horrified

“You didn’t I offered!” 

“Don’t take all the blame mate, Nigel did a bloody good job on Mark. It’s going to take time, but I don’t want you do anything you’ll regret and you will, we both know it.”

Looking over at the video he noticed the time.

“Better go wake up sleeping beauty!” as he passed Rob he leant down and placed a kiss on his lips, looking surprised but not upset he simply raised an eyebrow “Just a thank you, for coming all this way, for loving him, not challenging me to a duel!” he smiled and walked over to the bedroom door.

It wasn’t long before a sleepy and dishevelled looking Mark pattered across the room, waving roughly in Robbie’s direction. The bathroom door closed and the sound of the shower could be heard faintly.

By the time Howard arrived Mark was pink skinned from his shower, long hair combed down from a slightly crooked centre parting. Jason thought he looked lovely, but then Jason had secretly thought that too when he’d guiltily looked through the photo albums that still sat in the corner of the room along with the VHS tapes. 

Rob had looked at the heap of tapes while Mark had showered asking what they were and Jason had told him. Rob’s face had crumpled again at the thought of his little Mark being filmed like that, but he’d pulled himself together and now the four of them sat, while Rob told daft stories of his many misdemeanours, trying not to sound boastful. He knew that neither Jason nor Howard would have wanted the big tours and sell out shows, but Mark had tried for it, written an album, that nobody wanted to record.

It was a pleasant night, Mark was chatty, cheerful even, and if Jason hadn’t known differently he could almost believe they were sitting on that bloody tour bus, four mates having a laugh.

At half midnight Rob was showing signs of flagging, he’d claimed to have stopped suffering from jetlag, having spent the last few years constantly back and forth, but nevertheless he was looking tired.

It occurred to Jason that he hadn’t asked Rob’s plans, did he have a hotel booked, was he expecting to stay here? It was Howard who asked the question.

“Mate, can I give you a lift somewhere?”

“Depends! How much of a death trap _is_ your car?”

And that was that, they said their goodnights, Robbie picking Mark clean off the floor, kissing him on the nose, causing it to crinkle in the most endearing way.

“Night kidder, see ya tomorrow.”

As Rob hugged Jason, Howard went to Mark, his own hug a little less boisterous but no less heartfelt. Then Jay and Howard shared their own tight embrace.

Soon the flat was quiet again, just Jason and Mark, neither knowing what to say to fill the silence.

So when Mark did speak it made Jason start.

“I heard you and Robbie earlier, when you told him... when he guessed.” His words came to a stop, not knowing how to go on.

“And?” Jay couldn’t help him with this.

“When you said it to me I just thought... I didn’t really believe... but you said it to Rob too, and what he said, about me being simple...”

“No! No that isn’t what he said... not that you are, that he thought it... because you loved him so much!”

“He were right though... I’m not that bright... not about the important things, but what he said about the others, keeping them off me... he didn’t. He doesn’t know... at the time I thought he did, later that night, two of them knocked on my door, they just pushed their way in, started mocking me, saying that Robert had told them what a good lay I were and how they should give me a go before they moved on. I were already hurting from that last time with Rob, it didn’t take much for them to get me on the bed. It didn’t last long, but I’d only properly been with Robbie up to then, it made me feel dirty, but like I deserved it, Father Regan would have said it were apt punishment for me sins, but then Father Regan had told me I were a temptation, sent to test him... he pretty much failed the test.”

“Are you telling me those bastards... why didn’t you say something, why did you keep something like that to yourself... wait, do you mean that your _priest_ raped you too? Fuck Mark you should have...” Jason didn’t know what to do with himself, it just got worse, and there was always something else, some other thing he’d missed.

“No, Father Regan never fucked me, he preferred me mouth, think he thought it made it my fault not his, even when he had his hand tangled in me hair holding me in place. He liked doing it right after Mass while I were still in me surplice.” Mark took a breath and shook his head “That wasn’t what I wanted to tell you though... you told Rob that you didn’t just want sex, men don’t usually admit that sort of thing to each other, and it made me think, maybe you really mean it, I don’t understand why, but I... I ought to tell you, I loved you, after Rob left, you and Dougie were so nice to me, and you never expected anything; don’t know why I thought you’d have changed, but I told meself that I were just being daft, missing Robbie and looking for someone to replace him. It weren’t never that though, it were you Jay.” 

Mark slumped onto the settee as if someone had cut the strings holding him up, he looked exhausted. Jason came over and sat next to him, pulling him into his arms, he held the unresisting body to him, nuzzling into the sweet smelling hair.

“We were both thick weren’t we, I didn’t really know how I felt about you until you’d gone and even then I didn’t understand that it were really serious until I were with you in that flat, and I realised that I didn’t just love you, I were in love with you, I wanted you too, I can’t pretend I don’t, but if you can’t trust me, if you feel you owe me... your services, it won’t work.”

“I’ve not offered meself to Gaz or Howard; doesn’t that tell you anything Jay?” Mark’s voice was a little muffled as he leant into Jason’s chest just above his heart.

“You mean apart from you having some taste at least...ouch!” He rubbed his side where Mark had just pinched him “I hadn’t thought about it, hadn’t wanted to I suppose, though neither of them had said anything so...”

“Jay I’m knackered, can we go to bed _please_?” That whiny little boy’s voice made him smile.

“Yeah it’s late, go on, we’ll talk more tomorrow.”

“Jay come with me, please? I get so lonely at night, just to sleep, I promise I won’t do anything to upset you.” He looked up then, those lovely eyes pleading.

“All right, come on!” Jason moved Mark over slightly while he stood, and then pulled the small man up, flinging an arm around his shoulder as they walked to the bedroom.

That night Jason held Mark as he slept, the smaller body curled into his side, a perfect fit.


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five

 

The next few days were spent with Robbie and then Gary returned, there were a few tense moments when it could have gone explosively badly, in the end though; it seemed the years had mellowed and matured both men, their past feud put into perspective by Mark’s return. Jason released the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, and that was when he heard the _giggling_ , Mark held his side with one hand while the other shakily pointed at the two men facing each other, and through the laughter he just about managed to whistle the theme from ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’. After a moment’s pause the room was filled with laughing, and Jason put his arms around Mark as they held each other upright.

 

Three weeks Mark had been at Jason’s, and he seemed happier less jumpy, and though Jason still wouldn’t give in to his needs, they slept in each other’s arms every night, often waking with their legs entwined, neither man commenting on the obvious erections pressing between them. 

So far, Mark had not left the flat, he refused to go shopping with Jason for groceries, and not even the promise of new clothes could get him outside.

“Mark you don’t have anything to wear, and it’s not really fair for me to have to cart all the shopping home on me own, a hand would be nice.” Jason tried to sound irritated rather than worried.

“What if Gary sees me?” Mark spoke quietly

“Mark! We’re on the other side of London; he has no way of knowing where you are!” 

“I... I’ve only been outside once in the past year, and that were coming here. And I weren’t really thinking clearly...”

“You’re scared to go out?” Jason hunkered down in front of Mark taking those small neat hands in his own long slim ones, noting the differences between them. Looking up into Mark’s face he saw the blush spreading, and was enchanted all other again by this sweet man.

“Not... _scared_... exactly, more like... _terrified_!” He tried a small smile. “When Gary got the flat, the clients came to us, in the end I just stopped going out, there were always someone else booked... Gary bought all my stuff...”

“What about the doctor? Mark the tablets; if you didn’t go out how did you get the prescription?” They hadn’t talked about the pills, though Jason knew there weren’t many left. 

“He were a client, a GP who liked _playing doctor_. He’d examine me... you know, _the works_ , sometimes he wanted me dressed like a schoolboy, telling me he needed to take me temperature and then bending me over while he eased the thermometer inside me. Once he wanted me dressed as a girl, so he could _‘discover’_ the truth. I never questioned the pills, Gary said I needed them, and well Gary took care of me...” He trailed off.

“Markie? I’ve not asked before, but can you remember how you ended up with... with Gary?” Jason hoped he wasn’t making a huge blunder by asking, but he felt he needed to know.

“I... I know _now_... but he told me that he found me working the streets as a kid, he took me in but that he couldn’t stop me whoring, said I loved getting fucked so much that against his better judgement decided if he couldn’t stop me it were better to keep me safe, so he became my pimp...”

“Out of the _goodness_ of his heart!” Jason couldn’t hide the sneer, but Mark didn’t respond.

“What I now remember, is... getting a call, telling me that it were all over, the record company didn’t want me, and N...Nigel couldn’t carry me any longer, but that he might be able to find me a way out, a way not to cause me family any more humiliation. He told me to just leave me home, not bother with packing, not to tell anyone anything... I knew it were wrong but I were so screwed up, drinking too much, smoking too much, I weren’t thinking straight. 

So I did it, I left and followed his instructions, went to London, booked into this crummy B&B and waited. I were there two days and then N... Nigel arrived with some bloke I’d never seen before. He’d brought wine... lots of wine, and he kept filling me glass, and I started to feel weird. I must have zoned out ‘cause the next thing I knew, I were on the bed with me face pushed into the pillow and N...Nigel was on top of me, swearing and saying what a prick tease I’d always been and shoving into me... when he was done... the other one grabbed me turning and half dragging me off the bed... he hit me before... they kept feeding me pills and booze, until I passed out, then it started all over again and all the time he... Gary were telling me this story... how I lost me virginity, all the men, where and when, the policeman who threatened to nick me unless I went down on him.

A whole life that I knew I hadn’t lived, except that I knew how every one of those men had smelt, the noises they made, how their cum tasted.” 

Mark looked into Jason’s eyes seeing the horror, the sadness, and all he could do was shrug helplessly

“It were easier I think to accept that life than to fight for the one I’d really had. Anthony didn’t have anyone to hurt and let down. It didn’t matter if he begged to be fucked or for it all to end. By the time N...Nigel left I were Anthony, 23 years old, a whore for the last ten years, no family, no friends… just Gary.”

“Mark... Christ Markie! I love you, I love you _so_ much!” And he leant forward kissing those sweet lips his hands framing the too pale face; it took a moment for Mark to respond but when he did it was with everything he had. Jason, still on his haunches was tipped backwards, Mark landing on top of him  
.   
Jason rolled them onto their sides slowing the kiss. After long minutes of learning each other, Jason raised himself away from Mark, who tried to follow not wanting to be parted.

Looking down at this beautiful creature, he was finally sure that Mark wasn’t responding because he’d been trained to, but because it was what he wanted, and, Jason prayed, because he was in love with him.

Getting to his feet he leant a hand down to Mark and pulled him up into his arms. Smiling into wide blue eyes he turned leading Mark into the bedroom.

 

Jason suddenly found himself terrified, he’d wanted this for what felt like a life time, even if it had taken a postcard in a telephone box to make him realise it. And now here he was about to make love to Mark and he was trembling, actually shaking with nerves.

The one consolation he had was that Mark looked pretty scared too. 

“Not _just_ me then?” Jason asked, sitting himself down on the bed and holding a hand out to Mark to join him. When Mark had settled and they were facing each other Jason continued “Not sure if I’m relieved or not, that we’re both nervy, it is just that isn’t it Markie? You’re not afraid of me, that I’ll hurt you?”

“No! Of course not, Jay if there is one person in the world I know would never deliberately hurt me it’s you. It’s just been a … well another person’s lifetime… since I had se… made love with someone.”

Looking into Jason’s eyes he needed him to understand, to believe him. “I want you, even before everything that’s happened, I always wanted you. I felt bad, because I were with Rob, but when things started to get rough I’d think what it would be like with you, I were sure you’d be gentle with me when I was hurting, but you’d know how to be passionate too.” 

Jason couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes, dear sweet Mark, feeling bad about trying to make the best of a rubbish situation.

“How would you like me now? Gentle?” he leant forward barely brushing his lips to Mark’s “or passionate?” this time he pulled Mark towards him, his tongue demanding and receiving entrance.

When the kiss ended both men were panting, Mark was looking somewhat ravished, and Jason was feeling rather pleased with himself.

“Oh I think passionate will be fine… yes I can live with that… _I hope_!” The trademark Owen smile was back, lighting up his eyes, the unhidden lust giving them an extra gleam.

With one thought in both their heads, they started to undress. There would be time for slowly undressing each other, time for gentle exploration. Right now they needed each other.

It wasn’t long before Jason was lying on top of Mark kissing him with even more passion than before. It was Mark whose hand reached into the bedside drawer, fumbling for the lube he’d put there earlier, snagging a condom too, he pulled away from the kiss to show his prize to Jason.

“Please I don’t want to wait any longer!”

As Jason took the tube and packet from Mark, the other man turned to lay on his front. 

“Mark? Markie I want to see you!” Jason couldn’t hide the disappointment that Mark had turned away from him. He tried not to let doubts and fears ruin this.

“Oh!” Mark turned his head to look at his soon to be lover “ _Really_?” and he rolled onto his back, spreading his legs and raising his knees “Okay, get to it then lad!”

Jason laughed and leant down to kiss Mark’s nose “Who do you think you’re calling lad, kiddo?”

As he set to work preparing Mark and coincidently driving the poor boy mad, Jason couldn’t help but think how lucky he was, as he watched Mark writhing beneath him, body flushed, feeling the clench of muscle as he stroked his fingers back and forth.

“Jayyyyyy! Pleeeaaase… now in me now… I’m ready soooooo ready….”

With his left hand he grabbed the condom wrapper, but he knew he’d have to pull his fingers out of that wonderfully hot place if he was going to be able to put the damn thing on. The mewling protest as he withdrew was both encouraging and deeply arousing. 

Once the latex was on and lubed he placed himself against Mark and slowly, so slowly pressed home. And even in his head he knew how daft it sounded, but it felt like home, a place he’d never been to before, but never wanted to leave.

The small pants and gasps that Mark was making certainly gave the impression that he was enjoying it too, though when Jason looked he saw that Mark was chewing his lip as if trying to keep quiet. Jason stopped his long slow strokes and leaning on one arm he touched a hand to Mark’s cheek.

A small whine followed by “Don’t stop please don’t stop…”

“Mark are you all right? Am I hurting you?”

“Wha… no…no feel good so good” the lack of movement brought Mark down enough to be able to speak “Didn’t want you to think I were … you know _faking_ … porn track noises!” And even through the glow of lust Jason could see Mark blush.

“Darling make as much or little noise as you want, I just want you to enjoy it! Okay?”

This time when Jason pulled out it wasn’t a slow slide back but a hard thrust that hit Mark just there, just right, and he screamed and begged and told Jason he was wonderful, and Jason did his best to draw out more of those amazing sounds.

When words turned to stuttering gasps Jason took Mark’s long neglected cock in his hand dragging out one last keening cry. Mark’s orgasm was inevitably Jason’s undoing, four hard thrusts and then as he reached deeper than before he came, silent all but one word ‘ _Mark_ ’.


	6. Epilogue

Epilogue

 

It hadn’t been an easy time, Mark had been resistant to telling his parents he was alive let alone all that had happened to him, but Jason had told him that he’d given his word that he would pass on any news no matter what to Mark’s family, and surely he wouldn’t want to make a liar out of him.

So when Jason called them with the news, Mark albeit reluctantly spoke to them, and Jason watched his lover as he was told how much he was loved, how much he was missed, and how glad they were to have their boy back, and when could they see him.

That led to another problem, Mark’s fear of going out. He was certain that ‘Gary’ would find him. Jason tried to reassure him, but deep down he held the same fear. Maybe moving back to Manchester was the answer, but that left Nigel. Of course Gary had sacked Nigel, there was more than enough evidence of misappropriation, and there had been no need to even mention Mark. That Nigel had been found beaten unconscious and Howard had had a fractured hand was mere coincidence.

 

There were of course no happily ever afters, Jay and Mark fought, and hurtful things were said, sometimes it even got physical. Then there were times when Mark needed the kind of sex that Jason found it too difficult to give. 

There they found someone that they could both trust. Someone who had offered to push Mark even hurt him for his own good, at the time Jason had refused the offer, but knowing what Mark needed, this time Jason wasn’t just asking, he was _begging_. 

Robbie had his own demons, but with Mark he found a way to release them, knowing that Mark _needed_ to be hurt as much as Rob _needed_ to hurt him. And Jason was always there for both of them, often finding it was Rob who needed to be held and comforted after such a session more than Mark.

Although Jason didn’t like or fully understand Mark’s needs he had to admit that afterwards his sweet boy would be back happy and relaxed. He just had to accept that part of his lover would always be Anthony.

 

***********************************

 

In a safe deposit box in a particularly discreet vault are fifteen large sealed envelopes and four video cassettes. The envelopes are filled to capacity with negatives, it's a pity there are so few tapes, but these are at least the best, and when the time is right they will be worth a great deal. The loss of a good whore is always aggravating (and the boy was good, finest little cock sucker he'd ever had, and he'd never seen one look _so pretty_ screaming) but at the end of the day he's a businessman and what really matters is the money.

 

So he'll give it a year or two, let 'em think they’re safe and then he’ll start making 'em pay.


End file.
